Asking for what you need

and then a little more.

Last week, I booked in our nanny for 3 hrs, went to Pilates and got a pedicure. It was the first ‘outing’ for myself since having Atlas, who is eight months old. (Besides a workout here and there.)

There I was, biking along the Amsterdam canals in the sun, podcast in my headphones, munching mini quiches, feeling free as a bird, and.. missing Atlas plus feeling a little guilty for taking time away. I then told myself:

‘No Sarah. You’re going to enjoy this. A re-charged mum is also good for him.’

So I did enjoy it. (And, I still missed him.)

It’s a tough one to tackle, isn’t it? Softening the ‘I can do it all-ness.’ Especially because we’re so darn good in doing it all, and motherhood requires us to be jack(lyns?) of many trades.

As I speak to other mothers, I see so many having difficulty asking for what they need. For help with the baby, for time to work, for nourishment, for hrs to create. Also I, after plenty of self-growth, am stumbling upon this: I’ve learned to ask for what I need, yes. I’ve learned to let go of leading in too many lanes in my relationship. Yet, I ask for what I need too ‘tightly.’

As my life is getting wider, more abundant in all layers - raising a baby, deepening our union and expanding my business - so does my capacity to hold, and the need for clearer boundaries. As everything broadens, I sharpen as a natural consequence - with clients, friends, and towards myself. I’m not always available. I’m fully devoted to Atlas plus the couple of hrs p week I have the nanny, I have my client sessions. My time is limited.

With that comes the invitation to ask for what I need.. and then a little more. Because that’s what I actually need. That extra bit of space. Where I don’t have to rush. Where I can lean back. Where I can tap in with the divine and move from that place.
I find most men are naturally better at it - taking space, and I feel us women have something to learn from this.

So, the next time we’re asking for what we need, let’s all ask just a little more than exactly that.